is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
