I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
