i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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