Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
