If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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