My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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