If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
