we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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