There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm passing your future prison.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
