And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
