I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
