i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
