cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
