I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
