Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
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My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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