I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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