Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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