Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
