You're so nebulous sometimes
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
