i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
