Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize