I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
