u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
