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  • Submitted by vermonter on Oct 24, 10 at 4:50pm

    With condoms.

  • Submitted by BrooklynGuy71 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:21pm

    "Happy Birthday. Glad you're not my baby daddy"

  • Submitted by Intimidator1 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:21pm

    There's no such thing as almost pregnant. Either you are or you're not.

  • 89 43
    Submitted by satign on Oct 24, 10 at 10:14pm

    I'm pretty sure every time you have sex you 'almost' get pregnant.

  • 98 66
    Submitted by BondDaddy on Oct 24, 10 at 6:27pm

    Just say happy birthday you dumb cu nt. Almost pregnant... Did you watch the sperm swim past the egg or something? That guy is lucky he didn't knock up some stupid fuc king bit ch

  • 94 62
    Submitted by phan99 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:19pm

    How do u get 'almost pregnant'?

  • 92 75
    Submitted by blu_raider on Oct 24, 10 at 10:22pm

    No if u ever had a scare u understand the almost pregnant thing

  • 80 54
    Submitted by ohyeahhhhhhhhhh on Oct 24, 10 at 4:40pm

    This year how about I blow the balloons

  • 80 56
    Submitted by teets215 on Oct 24, 10 at 11:44pm

    almost as in she probably had a pregnancy scare. You people take this way too seriously

  • 84 68
    Submitted by cdngirl on Oct 24, 10 at 8:46pm

    "Happy thank god there isn't going to be a birth day!"

  • 77 61
    Submitted by GUESS_WHAT on Oct 24, 10 at 7:25pm

    Happy Birthday! NO PREGGO MY EGGO!

  • 73 57
    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 24, 10 at 6:15pm

    "Happy Pull-out Day!"

  • 71 68
    Submitted by Cpt_Underpants on Oct 25, 10 at 6:46am

    "Got you almost pregnant" and "almost got you pregnant" are two totally different things. She didn't say she was almost pregnant, she said she almost was. By correcting her you're all just making yourselves looks like complete morons. Not to mention you're guys so you don't really understand pregnancy scares.

  • 75 76
    Submitted by calixdude4life on Oct 24, 10 at 4:26pm

    Umm almost doesn't count.... Lame text

  • 58 53
    Submitted by Valkyrie on Oct 25, 10 at 10:26am

    You don't.

  • 59 62
    Submitted by forrealthough on Oct 25, 10 at 3:51am

    kudos on even wanting to wish him a happy birthday

  • 48 41
    Submitted by TheCougarHunter on Oct 26, 10 at 11:46am

    How do you get almost pregnant. You should tell him you're a dumb slut that needs to keep her legs closed so you don't reproduce

  • 46 45
    Submitted by copeland2034 on Oct 26, 10 at 2:07am

    And just how does one "almost" get pregnant? Either you are or you aren't...it's not a game of horseshoes.

  • 62 77
    Submitted by CheezeDetector on Oct 24, 10 at 5:53pm

    Cum in me once shame on me, cum in me twice shame on me ... Happy hump ... I mean birth... Day

  • 58 72
    Submitted by bankdis on Oct 24, 10 at 8:23pm

    You give him a lapdance and yamm his yipper

  • 63 83
    Submitted by ckdani on Oct 24, 10 at 11:32pm

    you can't be "almost pregnant" doesn't work. even if you had a scare, you weren't pregnant or even almost pregnant. just say happy birthday.. stupid.

  • 45 53
    Submitted by tennisqt95 on Oct 25, 10 at 9:12pm

    Classy

  • 48 61
    Submitted by 3DR0NE7 on Oct 24, 10 at 8:47pm

    Hey it's my brothers birthday today do you know anybody from rawlins Wyoming by any chance oh and I'm an ostertag

  • 39 53
    Submitted by SALIA on Oct 25, 10 at 12:44pm

    Cdngirl and Vermonter, tie ftw!

  • 40 68
    Submitted by faithhhh_69 on Oct 24, 10 at 7:11pm

    Happy Birthday almost baby daddy (;

  • 35 66
    Submitted by cdese on Oct 25, 10 at 1:53am

    alĀ·most [awl-mohst, awl-mohst]\n-adverb\n1. very nearly; all but: almost every house; almost the entire symphony; to pay almost nothing for a car; almost twice as many books.