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  • "Happy Birthday. Glad you're not my baby daddy"

    Submitted by BrooklynGuy71 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:21pm
  • With condoms.

    Submitted by vermonter on Oct 24, 10 at 4:50pm
  • There's no such thing as almost pregnant. Either you are or you're not.

    Submitted by Intimidator1 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:21pm
  • I'm pretty sure every time you have sex you 'almost' get pregnant.

    Submitted by satign on Oct 24, 10 at 10:14pm
  • How do u get 'almost pregnant'?

    Submitted by phan99 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:19pm
  • Just say happy birthday you dumb cu nt. Almost pregnant... Did you watch the sperm swim past the egg or something? That guy is lucky he didn't knock up some stupid fuc king bit ch

    Submitted by BondDaddy on Oct 24, 10 at 6:27pm
  • This year how about I blow the balloons

    Submitted by ohyeahhhhhhhhhh on Oct 24, 10 at 4:40pm
  • Umm almost doesn't count.... Lame text

    Submitted by calixdude4life on Oct 24, 10 at 4:26pm
  • "Happy Pull-out Day!"

    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 24, 10 at 6:15pm
  • almost as in she probably had a pregnancy scare. You people take this way too seriously

    Submitted by teets215 on Oct 24, 10 at 11:44pm
  • "Happy thank god there isn't going to be a birth day!"

    Submitted by cdngirl on Oct 24, 10 at 8:46pm
  • No if u ever had a scare u understand the almost pregnant thing

    Submitted by blu_raider on Oct 24, 10 at 10:22pm
  • Happy Birthday! NO PREGGO MY EGGO!

    Submitted by GUESS_WHAT on Oct 24, 10 at 7:25pm
  • You give him a lapdance and yamm his yipper

    Submitted by bankdis on Oct 24, 10 at 8:23pm
  • kudos on even wanting to wish him a happy birthday

    Submitted by forrealthough on Oct 25, 10 at 3:51am
  • How do you get almost pregnant. You should tell him you're a dumb slut that needs to keep her legs closed so you don't reproduce

    Submitted by TheCougarHunter on Oct 26, 10 at 11:46am
  • "Got you almost pregnant" and "almost got you pregnant" are two totally different things. She didn't say she was almost pregnant, she said she almost was. By correcting her you're all just making yourselves looks like complete morons. Not to mention you're guys so you don't really understand pregnancy scares.

    Submitted by Cpt_Underpants on Oct 25, 10 at 6:46am
  • Classy

    Submitted by tennisqt95 on Oct 25, 10 at 9:12pm
  • Cum in me once shame on me, cum in me twice shame on me ... Happy hump ... I mean birth... Day

    Submitted by CheezeDetector on Oct 24, 10 at 5:53pm
  • Happy Birthday almost baby daddy (;

    Submitted by faithhhh_69 on Oct 24, 10 at 7:11pm
  • you can't be "almost pregnant" doesn't work. even if you had a scare, you weren't pregnant or even almost pregnant. just say happy birthday.. stupid.

    Submitted by ckdani on Oct 24, 10 at 11:32pm
  • Hey it's my brothers birthday today do you know anybody from rawlins Wyoming by any chance oh and I'm an ostertag

    Submitted by 3DR0NE7 on Oct 24, 10 at 8:47pm
  • You don't.

    Submitted by Valkyrie on Oct 25, 10 at 10:26am
  • And just how does one "almost" get pregnant? Either you are or you aren''s not a game of horseshoes.

    Submitted by copeland2034 on Oct 26, 10 at 2:07am
  • Cdngirl and Vermonter, tie ftw!

    Submitted by SALIA on Oct 25, 10 at 12:44pm
  • al·most [awl-mohst, awl-mohst]\n-adverb\n1. very nearly; all but: almost every house; almost the entire symphony; to pay almost nothing for a car; almost twice as many books.

    Submitted by cdese on Oct 25, 10 at 1:53am