I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
