the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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