Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
