Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
