i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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