maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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