I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
