I'm lost and stupid without you.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
