You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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