I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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