i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
