Who did Billy Mays play for?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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