That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
