u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
