wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she told me i tasted like america
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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