So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
