Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize