that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so explain again why im purple
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Loading more great texts...