Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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