So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
