Whatcha textin bout Willis?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
