Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
