I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
