All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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