Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
