That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
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you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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