He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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