I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
