i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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