I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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