i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
