Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this boner is exhausting
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
