no, he came in my armpit
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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