so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
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We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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