I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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