his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
