It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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