i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And then he peed in my hair
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