we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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