do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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